7/54: Sad Faces (not painted over with those magazine smiles)

I had three problems today:
1. I woke up with an extremely sore right bicep, having apparently slept on it funny during the night.
2. I now officially needed new shoes (they just weren't supporting anything).
3. I was just plain tired from the extremes of the last two days.
What was the result of these three problems? I cut back on exercise today, as an attempt to give myself a break but not a big one. I did one mile on the eliptical and two miles on the stationary bike. And I went out and got new shoes.

Furthermore, and probably but not sure how-ly related to the problems above, I made three mistakes today:
1. I ate a snickers bar.
2. I ate most of a bag of reeses pieces.
3. I went to Wendy's and got two small, dollar-menu burgers.

BUT, tomorrow's another day. And I'm still gonna do it. I bought another workout video: Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred. Yeah! Looking forward to it!

BTW, yesterday after the three miles and a bit of Billy Blanks Bootcamp I went to Shakespeare Park with hubby and a friend and walked another 2 miles. Go me!

P.S. 50,000 cool points to anyone who can tell me what song the title refers to!

6/54: Heeeeere's Amber!

I totally ate right yesterday!

I'm gonna go to the gym here in a sec. I plan on doing 3 miles on the treadmill and then coming back to my apt and doing Billy Blanks Bootcamp. And so far I've eaten right today as well.

I'm coming to get you, SK!

5/54: Ow.

At the gym today, I did a mile on the treadmill, then I worked biceps and triceps, then I did a mile on the bike, then I worked lats and abs, then I did a mile on the treadmill, then I worked shoulders and pecs, then I did a mile on the elliptical, then I worked adductors and abductors and obliques, then I did a mile on the treadmill. I can say with quite a degree of certainty that I won't be eating any crap today. Wouldn't want to make all that mean less. Beucause let me tell you...ow.

4/54: Trash Talk

I have no trash talk today because the first three days were filled with junk food and inactivity. But I do have a promise...you will bow to me...

1/54: It's On!

I have begun a competition with someone! It's a simple, percentage-based (just like Biggest Loser) contest from today to October 11th. That's 54 days. This morning's weight was 245.8. SK is going down!!! :-) And I actually think that THIS competitor will stay on track! Which means I'll stay on track, because I have to win! Yay!

I Got Struck By Lightening

Almost literally. My friend (calling her "E") and I went canoeing on Sunday. We got dumped into the rapids twice and we both got dinged up pretty good, she with mostly bruises and I with mostly gashes. She hit her head on a rock and I almost lost a toe. I had never been on a boat and she had only done canoeing about twice and never through rapids like that. A dude in a kayak wondered aloud why the Coosa Outdoor Center even allowed us to have the canoe given our lack of experience...apparently canoes are much harder to handle than a kayak. We were kinda pissed to learn that, because how in the hell were we supposed to know that? We would have gladly switched to kayaks if they had told us it was going to be that much safer!

Anyhoot, that sounds complainy but actually, despite the fact that we were mauled repeatedly by our boat, we had a good time. We got to the docking area about four hours earlier than necessary (they told us to be there by 6:30 but gave no indication of how fast that meant we would have to go, so we just went fast to be sure) and got kinda bored. So we were just hanging out in the shallow water when it started raining. We both thought "Cool! I want to go out farther and be in the rain!" so we went out farther (as in, so that we were no longer under trees) and it was indeed cool to be in a river in the rain. Of course to get out that far we had to expose ourselves to a much stronger current. And did I mention we did not feel the need to bring our life jackets? I am aware that I sound like I am setting you up to read about how we were swept out into the middle and taken for a ride, but no, that's not what happened. That's just what we were slightly worried would happen.

What did happen was that we decided to go about 100 feet down the river to a group of large rocks that vaguely formed a penninsula and just perch there in the rain for a while. It was very peaceful and the river was very beautiful. After a bit we decided to go back to the shallows where we were supposed to be. We were stepping carefully over the rocks about waist deep in the water when lightening struck somewhere close. I remember certain details very clearly: I saw the sky light up and as I processed that it must have come from the right because of the way the light hit the clouds I realized that the river beneath me lit up as well and I felt what seemed like a deep, resounding impact in my bones. It was like when a marching band is playing close to you and you can hear the drums in your chest, only it was in all the bones in my lower half. I thought of Kalahn the Mother Confessor's power in the Sword of Truth series by Terry Goodkind. If you've read it, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Anyway, then my muscles spasmed all at once and there was a split second where I didn't know if they were going to keep spasming or if I was about to register a great deal of pain...if, in fact, this was the end.

I can remember all of this clearly now, but not all of it fully registered on my brain when it was happening. It all happened lightening-fast you might say. (I apologize to the joke gods.) What got through to my brain at the time was the impression of light and the muscle spasm. I have had problems with my calves in the past and my left calf spasmed both times we were dumped into the rapids (which, by the way, was also quite frightening, because in the first second of one of my calf spasms I can't tell if it's a little one or if it's going to ramp up into one of The Big Ones, which would have SUCKED while trying to swim through rapids!) Anyway, I felt the giant muscle spasm and at first thought it was just my left calf again but then of course immediately realized that no, that was my whole lower half, and it was accompanied by a bone-impact of weirdness. My physical reaction was to look up at E with an expression of, I'm guessing, open-mouthed wonder. Her physical reaction was to quickly verbalize:

E: I just got struck by lightening!
Me: I know! So did I! We gotta get out of here!
E: I just got struck by lightening!
Me: (turning back towards the rocks) I know! Let's go!
E: (looking as scared as I felt and coming towards me and the rocks) I just got struck by lightening!
Me: I KNOW! ME TOO!
E: Did you feel it?
Me: YES!

She finally (well, actually quite quickly, but it felt like forever) got onto the safe rocks with me and we looked at each other in awe for a few seconds and then broke into silly grins and high-fived. "That was AWESOME!!!" "That was SO COOL!" And it was. We got struck by lightening. Who gets to say that? I've been electrocuted before and it actually hurt more, but that was just an electrical socked. Sockets are lame. I got electrocuted by LIGHTENING! Sweet!

We waited until the storm passed and then, quite nervously, swam upriver back to the shallows and our stuff. It took a lot longer to swim up than it took to swim down, and we were so worried that it was going to happen again and worse this time! It was a little rediculous. But so crazy fun. Anyway, we're both alive still, and I've got lots of bandages. All in all, a good time!

Uggh.

I did so good for a few days, and then...uggh, it's so weird, I have two and a half weeks off before school starts again and what do I do with it? Absolutely nothing. Which would be fine if I was enjoying it, but I'm not. I can't let go of feeling like a failure if I don't get a lot done in a day, so even when I try to just relax it doesn't really work and I just start hating myself and eat the emotions, which of course brings out more emotions and I keep eating...I wish I could pick one! Either enjoy being lazy or find something to do and do it. But I keep thinking of things to do and then wavering back and forth about "I should do it, but I don't have to, and I really should be enjoying my break, but now I'm bored, I just don't know" and then the day is over and I didn't do it and now I feel stupid. And worse, I let feeling stupid manifest as random food being eated in the wee hours of the morning alone. Shameful. But I have a friend visiting for a few days and she'll probably kick me into gear...I'm hoping she and I can have fun but also go the gym and cook good food. I'm counting on the fact that pretty much anything done with her is fun. I know she'll push me diet-and-exercise wise if I ask her to, but she's also a really really fun person. I realize that I should be able to do things for myself and that relying on her to help me get through a few more days without the structure of school is pathetic, but oh well, I'm pathetic then. I just need help. Unfortunately. *sigh*

Hi.

Yesterday I ended up staying awake till about 8 this morning. When 3:30 rolled around and I still wasn't really tired I figured hey, I'll stay up till the gym opens at 5, then go to bed. Which I did. It was awesome.

Tried out a real aerobics class today. It was okay. Not bad, but I can tell I'll get bored in not too long. I think I'll invent my own quirky dance-like aerobics tailored to my favorite upbeat songs and then do them with my sister. Yeah. :-)

Didn't eat anything bad today. Lots of grapes, which is some tasty awesomeness. :-)

Day Two of August

I did it again! Another day of actually staying on the diet! I feel awesome. Here's what I ate and the stats thereof:

http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_tracker.asp?id=GRADUATESKINNY&dte=8%2F2%2F2010

Go me!

One Day of August

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I have successfully completed one day of August eating non-crap. Yay, me! Specifically, here's what I ate and the calorie/carb/fat/protein breakdown: http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_tracker.asp?id=GRADUATESKINNY&dte=8%2F2%2F2010

I totally did well! Yeah!

The End of July

The summer semester is over and I've had a few days to relax. I hung out with friends a lot and ate a lot. I didn't go to the gym once and didn't really even pay attention at all except to feel a vague guilt that I took pains to ignore. I finished the month at 242.0 pounds, down only 1.8 from the beginning of the month. The purpose of this post is to face that. I lost under 2 pounds in July and I could have done much better. There. Now, let's move on! I'll post later today about how August is going so far. :-)