I Got Struck By Lightening

Almost literally. My friend (calling her "E") and I went canoeing on Sunday. We got dumped into the rapids twice and we both got dinged up pretty good, she with mostly bruises and I with mostly gashes. She hit her head on a rock and I almost lost a toe. I had never been on a boat and she had only done canoeing about twice and never through rapids like that. A dude in a kayak wondered aloud why the Coosa Outdoor Center even allowed us to have the canoe given our lack of experience...apparently canoes are much harder to handle than a kayak. We were kinda pissed to learn that, because how in the hell were we supposed to know that? We would have gladly switched to kayaks if they had told us it was going to be that much safer!

Anyhoot, that sounds complainy but actually, despite the fact that we were mauled repeatedly by our boat, we had a good time. We got to the docking area about four hours earlier than necessary (they told us to be there by 6:30 but gave no indication of how fast that meant we would have to go, so we just went fast to be sure) and got kinda bored. So we were just hanging out in the shallow water when it started raining. We both thought "Cool! I want to go out farther and be in the rain!" so we went out farther (as in, so that we were no longer under trees) and it was indeed cool to be in a river in the rain. Of course to get out that far we had to expose ourselves to a much stronger current. And did I mention we did not feel the need to bring our life jackets? I am aware that I sound like I am setting you up to read about how we were swept out into the middle and taken for a ride, but no, that's not what happened. That's just what we were slightly worried would happen.

What did happen was that we decided to go about 100 feet down the river to a group of large rocks that vaguely formed a penninsula and just perch there in the rain for a while. It was very peaceful and the river was very beautiful. After a bit we decided to go back to the shallows where we were supposed to be. We were stepping carefully over the rocks about waist deep in the water when lightening struck somewhere close. I remember certain details very clearly: I saw the sky light up and as I processed that it must have come from the right because of the way the light hit the clouds I realized that the river beneath me lit up as well and I felt what seemed like a deep, resounding impact in my bones. It was like when a marching band is playing close to you and you can hear the drums in your chest, only it was in all the bones in my lower half. I thought of Kalahn the Mother Confessor's power in the Sword of Truth series by Terry Goodkind. If you've read it, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Anyway, then my muscles spasmed all at once and there was a split second where I didn't know if they were going to keep spasming or if I was about to register a great deal of pain...if, in fact, this was the end.

I can remember all of this clearly now, but not all of it fully registered on my brain when it was happening. It all happened lightening-fast you might say. (I apologize to the joke gods.) What got through to my brain at the time was the impression of light and the muscle spasm. I have had problems with my calves in the past and my left calf spasmed both times we were dumped into the rapids (which, by the way, was also quite frightening, because in the first second of one of my calf spasms I can't tell if it's a little one or if it's going to ramp up into one of The Big Ones, which would have SUCKED while trying to swim through rapids!) Anyway, I felt the giant muscle spasm and at first thought it was just my left calf again but then of course immediately realized that no, that was my whole lower half, and it was accompanied by a bone-impact of weirdness. My physical reaction was to look up at E with an expression of, I'm guessing, open-mouthed wonder. Her physical reaction was to quickly verbalize:

E: I just got struck by lightening!
Me: I know! So did I! We gotta get out of here!
E: I just got struck by lightening!
Me: (turning back towards the rocks) I know! Let's go!
E: (looking as scared as I felt and coming towards me and the rocks) I just got struck by lightening!
Me: I KNOW! ME TOO!
E: Did you feel it?
Me: YES!

She finally (well, actually quite quickly, but it felt like forever) got onto the safe rocks with me and we looked at each other in awe for a few seconds and then broke into silly grins and high-fived. "That was AWESOME!!!" "That was SO COOL!" And it was. We got struck by lightening. Who gets to say that? I've been electrocuted before and it actually hurt more, but that was just an electrical socked. Sockets are lame. I got electrocuted by LIGHTENING! Sweet!

We waited until the storm passed and then, quite nervously, swam upriver back to the shallows and our stuff. It took a lot longer to swim up than it took to swim down, and we were so worried that it was going to happen again and worse this time! It was a little rediculous. But so crazy fun. Anyway, we're both alive still, and I've got lots of bandages. All in all, a good time!